Okay, this is the new site, check it out and please bookmark it:
http://marieinmaine.com/whoopiepiesandlobster/
That’s of course, not my image in the header of the new blog, it came with the theme. But it looks pretty cool. I might try adding one of my own later.
Hope you like it!
I bet you’ve seen pro wrestling on TV and wondered, “is that stuff for real?’ Haven’t you? No? Then maybe you want to know how it’s done. It looks pretty painful, even if you do realize it’s all faked. Not something I’d want to try.
But my awesome sister-in-law, Beth, gives it a go herself in her news reporter demo tape, seen here on YouTube. Watch the whole thing, she gets into the wrestling near the end. All that workout time really does pay off, maybe I should try it! More than a few times a year, I mean.
She’s not only a reporter, she’s also a Ph.D. candidate at Rutgers. In her spare time, she is a writer. She’s also a wife and mother. She’s been on Law and Order a couple of times too. I’d share a link but they don’t have episodes online, dangit.
Beth is the type of person who really listens to you when you’re holding a conversation. She has a great sense of humor, and lots and lots of energy. She’s a very hard worker and gives 110% to anything she does.
Unfortunately, she also lives 6 hours away, so we don’t see each other as often as we’d like. Once in a while we have family get-togethers and we always enjoy each other’s company during those times.
It’s nice to have relatives who are great people, so many times you hear about the “bad” ones, but there are some good ones out there. Beth is one of them.
Chloe, who is a boy, likes his naps:
I won’t bore you with a photograph of our rainy weather here in Portland. However, I just checked the weather widget on my dashboard, and it predicts 75 F and sunny tomorrow! Woo-hoo! I’m gonna plant my flower seeds and get ready to watch those babies grow!
I’ve been looking into fear of approaching women from a cultural standpoint. I wonder if this fear is tied to Western cultures or if it’s universal to men in all cultures. The sexual evolution stuff just doesn’t ring true to me. I’m still reading “Sperm Wars,” yes, it’s taking me a while to get through it. You can blame it on my cat, he loves to come sit in my lap and nose my book so I’ll put it down and pet him.
I have to go back to looking at WordPress themes today. I got burned out on it the other day. But I’m determined to get it done! At the very least, the new blog should be up and running this week (crossing my fingers).
As seen in Woman’s World magazine, I have decided to try some Vita-K for dark circles. Mine are probably what you’d call “medium-dark,” inherited from my mom. It’s pretty pricey, but if it works, it will be worth it.
If Robert’s nice enough to me, I might let him try it too. 
In other news, I got a proof copy of the book I helped write. It’s pretty exciting seeing it in book form after all the months of hard work. Just a few changes and corrections, and it’s gonna be good to go!
Almost bought some potato skins at the store, then decided if I really want potatoes with toppings, I can make my own. Obviously I don’t follow all the fad diets in Woman’s World. They do have a lot of good tips in there, though, and I enjoy the crossword puzzle. Plus, it’s a very positive publication. And who couldn’t use a little more “upbeat” in their day?
Rain has delayed the flower planting task, oh well. Tomorrow’s forecast calls for rain as well, so it looks like Monday will be the day. In the meantime, I can always fill and put out my hummingbird feeder. On the side of the porch that’s away from the window the cat usually sits in. Not that he could catch one of those suckers anyway, they are truly the fastest bird I’ve ever seen.
I just got ordained as a minister. No, really. I went to the Universal Life Church’s website and got ordained. I’m in good company, it appears.
That means I can be an officiant at weddings. Each state has its own laws, and Maine allows ordained ministers to perform weddings.
It doesn’t mean I’ll be rushing out to advertise my services. Marrying people is not a lark. But it might make me a better person, thinking of myself as a minister. Anyone can register with the ULC, and people do it all the time.
Today I’m going to get some pots and dirt and plant some seeds. I’ve got some flower seeds and also some green onion and lettuce. I’ve had to wait because due to the cat, starting seeds indoors is a bad idea. He loves stems and digging in dirt, as I found out last year when I started several types of flowers in a tray. He was able to knock the clear plastic lid off and grab a bunch of the seedlings out, peat moss and all, while I was out. After a few times of sweeping up dirt off the floor, I ditched my plan and threw the whole mess out.
This year will be different: I’m gonna plant seeds of cool-weather plants and see how they do outside. In June, I’ll do some of the more delicate varieties, those that can’t take temps of 38 F at night, as we had last night. Yikes. Where’s the warm weather? We had a few nice days and now it’s in the 50’s again. Welcome to Maine, but in the summer, the temps can’t be beat. We get ocean breezes and lots of sun.
I’m still reading “Sperm Wars,” by the way. I have a lot going on, so I can only manage a little here and there. “The Game” has yet to arrive at the library, so I’m gonna call them and make sure it’s still on order, maybe I missed a notification or something with all the emails I’ve been getting lately.
Have a great day, and I bestow blessings upon you all!
I stopped by my local last night in hopes of finding more people to talk about the current dating scene.
First of all, married men who are out with their buddies can be a little prickly when you mention:
A) Dr. Phil
B) Their dating years
For the record, I asked them a few questions and then one of them, not the other two (who seemed interested), told me flat out that he didn’t want to talk about it. He prefaced it with, “I don’t mean to be rude,” but you know when people say that, they are going to be rude. Either I missed an invisible signal from this guy or he has an anger management problem, as there was no “nah, not interested” words up to that point. Methinks he has bad memories or perhaps thinks he’s better than the young single men out there struggling to find a woman.
Okay fine fella, I will leave you to go back to ogling at and flirting with the also-married barmaid. You sir, are a jerk, and I feel sorry for your wife. But that single negative response was the only bump in my research road: most people are friendly and more than willing to talk to me. Yay for humanity!
I spoke to a man who was a little older than I am, he is in his late 40’s. He is single, and has been divorced for a long time. He was philosophical about dating, and said if it happens, it happens. “It” being finding the right woman. He was fulfilled in his life with work and his grown children. He did agree with my prior findings that Match.com is not that great, but you can meet some decent people on those sites if you do it often enough. Then he said he doesn’t bother anymore, as he really doesn’t care to go out hunting for women. He wasn’t upset or bitter about it either. When he left, he shook my hand and wished me good luck in my research.
Next I talked to a couple who had only been dating a few months. They were obviously getting along well, but both had horror stories to tell from the dating battle zone. Crazy exes, lying men, you name it, but they were still out there trying. They were leaving for a trip the next day, and I hope they have fun.
A lone young man sat at the bar, nursing a Bud. I asked the barmaid if she would ask him if I could talk to him. He said to come on over. I discovered that he was like the older man, not really looking. He didn’t have any problems talking to women and his biggest desire was to pay off his student loans and go on a quest, much like Thoreau. He was incredulous at the thought of being trained as a pick-up artist.
Lastly, I talked to a man who was reading a book. I didn’t even ask him about dating, because he was a bass player in a band, and I am a former bass player. Musicians, unite! Turns out he was none other than Kris Day from Jerks of Grass. There’s a video of them at that site too, make sure you watch! Jerks of Grass is playing at the Bramhall Pub tonight, go give ‘em a looksee!
Kris is also in a group called King Memphis, click on “Gigs” for their schedule. That dude gets around! And he is totally cool, too.
I have decided that my local pub is not exactly the best place to conduct my research. There are young guys who go there, but I doubt they want to talk to me, an older married woman, face-to-face at a bar when they’re out with their buddies, about dating. Also, I am too freaking old to be drinking pink martinis. Way. Too. Old. I took a taxi home, by the way, no drinking and driving here.
I’m looking for honest answers from young men about the dating scene. How hard is it to go up to a woman for you? Would you consider reading a book like Magic Bullets? Would you think about taking one of their workshops? Do you know anyone who’s tried it and has gotten good results?
So far I’ve heard from guys who are in the “pick-up artist” or dating coaching communities, if you don’t want to call it “PUA”. Most of them are glad they learned these skills (haven’t heard from too many guys who are sorry they are in the scene).
What are the young women like today? Approachable or not? And what do young women make of all this?
Thanks to advice from SpaceDevil13, who wrote to me and advised me to consider hosting this blog elsewhere, I am doing just that.
I am trying to decide if I should keep it all in one blog or have two separate blogs: one for things in Maine, and another for the more adult talk, my opinions and occasional rants. ‘Cause I need to vent somewhere, but a blog with cooking and places of interest in Maine, plus with the added stuff about the PUA lifestyle is not the right place to do it!
I’m still trying to pick out a good WordPress theme. I got the blog entries transferred okay, but some of the themes do funky things like say “No comments,” and then when you click on that, all the comments are there! Other themes have built-in widgets and if I add my own widgets, it shoves those down into the footer and makes for some funkalicioius eyecandy confusion.
I am also looking for a theme that allows me to use one or more of my photos in the header.
I know a tiny bit of HTML, the basic stuff. I can learn a little more if I have to. I know zip about CSS, except it looks like a lot of callouts to other files. I did get an ‘A’ in computer logic :::mumble, mumble::: years ago and I know a little COBOL. I’ve also made databases in FileMaker Pro so I’m familiar with fields and stuff like that. I know a little bit about graphic design but the last time I “made” a webpage from scratch was several years ago, before CSS became all the rage. I do have access to Dreamweaver if that helps.
I’ve been looking at 3-column themes, but not sure if that’s the way to go. I’d like to add my own widgets for tracking stats (I like StatCounter, open to other suggestions), and maybe an Amazon affiliate and/or a tip jar. Not that I expect to make a ton of bucks blogging, but I’d like to have the stuff there just in case Bill Gates stops by and likes what he sees
Someone told me adding my Twitter to my sidebar would be a good idea too (I don’t know why, ’cause I think my Tweets are pretty boring unless you like hearing me bitch about my cat waking me up at 4:00 a.m.).
I am probably going to have a main page with links to both blogs, and maybe links to my better photos and writing samples. Obviously, using WordPress software, the blogs are easiest to set up first. Well, they are easier in theory: as long as I can figure out which theme to use and how to do some simple alterations like changing the header photo and adding my own widgets.
Lastly, the book I just helped research and write is coming out soon, so I want to promote that as well. It’s an inexpensive consumer guide on how homeowners in danger of foreclosure can find resources and info to help them navigate the maze, as well as tidbits on how to assess their current situation, avoid scams, and how to rebuild their credit. There will be a website with news updates included in the price of the book, so it’s a lot of value for a very low price! So far I know of at least one woman who read the draft and was able to get herself out of hot water just by using one or two of the tips, and I’m excited to see this book finally coming to market, because it has the potential to educate and help a lot of people.
Any suggestions on all of this are welcome!
Okay, in my ongoing research, I decided to Google “approaching women” to see what came up. I got a lot of hits (not unexpected), and followed one link to the (apparently) popular AskMen.com site. The article was on how to approach women in a bar, not unlike what we’ve been talking about. After the initial approach, the author comes up with this scenario.
I’m trying to picture myself as the woman, of course. This is difficult, because I’m usually the one who starts talking to people in bars. I don’t have any pre-thought-out techniques at my disposal, so this sort of thing is rather alien to me. I can’t even begin to dissect what I do in social situations, I just talk to people. A lot of times, this has gotten me into trouble, because some men have thought I was trying to pick them up rather than just, well, talk. So maybe I need to learn some man-reading signs of my own! I don’t go to bars a lot, but sometimes I’ll go by myself to have a beer and a burger, socialize, and in general, observe human nature (Robert doesn’t like bars and while we love each other, we are not joined at the hip, either).
It’s a little discouraging to see the author stereotype women, as in “all women love to chat and gossip” on this page, and telling a guy to just ask her about herself and the woman’s response is listed as “blah, blah, blah.” Does that mean men are tuning out what a woman says when he asks her about her job? In one spot, he says to listen carefully, but only so you can keep the conversation going by asking her key questions. Oh, and the NLP anchoring thing again. Please. Get over that. The intention of specifically manipulating women like that is more harmful to you than it is to any woman. It is telling you that you have to somehow control her mind so that she’ll like you. Ick. I wouldn’t like Ross Jeffries no matter how many NLP techniques he used. I am aware of NLP and anchoring, and I closely observe what people are doing so I’m really sensitive to that stuff, especially touching or chin tapping, mirroring, etc. Robert has said that he’s seen people in social settings naturally mirroring each other’s body language - the ones who are getting along, anyway. We all know crossed arms in front are not exactly a great sign, any other “bad signs” out there that you’ve observed?
The other line that bugs me is “a hardworking woman. Now that’s rare to find these days.” WTF? I started working when I was a teenager. I’ve always been “hardworking” and my track record shows that I consistently received big raises and promotions at all of the jobs I’ve held. A lot of women are hardworking and devoted. What does he mean by that? It sound sort of condescending to me, as if women aren’t expected to be hardworking or capable of it because we’re so delicate or most women are lazy. Grrr.
Of course, I take a little offense at the use of the neg, as in “you don’t look like the beach type.” Eww. I am not against playful banter, guys, but deliberately knocking her down a peg like that seems a little creepy to me. I know there’s a lot of disagreement on this approach, so you don’t have to answer that one if you feel it’s already been covered.
I am wondering what you think about the line “who’s the creep who left you alone with all these men?” Um. That implies I need to be protected from men, including the dude who’s speaking this line! I’d probably tell him to get lost at that point. “This DJ is awesome” would get my attention more, because not only is it gender neutral, it opens up the possibility of talking about something most people love: music. Then you could ask her what kind of music she likes, concerts she’s been to, and wa-la, maybe ask her to see a local band or to a rock concert if you’re feeling particularly attracted to her. That’s how I dated my first husband, we went to a lot of concerts. Of course, I am pretty old, and concerts were a lot cheaper back then, heh.
I’m all for noticing signs that a woman is interested. Who wants to approach someone who is gonna tell them off?
Also, what do you do if you’re out with your buddies, and you approach a woman and she tells you she likes one of them?
How many of you use this approach and does it work? Does it get easier to be rejected 7 out of 10 times, as the author says happens to him?
I don’t care if you are looking for hook-ups or longterm romance, whatever adults want to do is okay by me, as long as they’re honest about expectations. But does this kind of stuff really work for you and if not, what does?
Robert and I attended a ballet presentation yesterday. It was put on by the Konservatoriet dance school in Alfred. Robert is a part-time teacher and co-director at the Konservatoriet. The school is run by Lynne Penn-Davison, and she organized a workshop presentation using her students’ choreography. It was a great time and the students did a wonderful job.
We were most impressed by one 11-year-old girl (seen below in the full-length tutu), who not only choreographed an elaborate dance called “No Bedtime for Us!”, but danced very well herself in several of the presentations. The ages of the students ranged from 3 to over 50, and the purpose was to raise awareness about the scholarships needed to allow these young women to take classes on an ongoing basis.
Ballet and other forms of dance require more than one class per week in order for the students to gain the full benefit of this art form. It’s not only a healthy activity, it promotes self-confidence, teaches posture, and gives the girls a sense of accomplishment. Unfortunately, not everyone can afford to pay for classes, so scholarships are often the only route for many of these students.
I took some pictures after the performance:
This last one is downtown Alfred. It’s a quaint little town south of Portland, and because the studio is in Alfred, Lynne can charge lower fees for the classes due to a lower overhead. So sponsoring a girl is not that expensive.
For more information on classes - including modern as well as ballet - or if you’d like to donate to Konservatoriet’s scholarship fund, please contact Lynne Penn-Davison at konservatoriet (at) verizon.net (substitute the “@” symbol for “(at)”, of course) or telephone (207) 324-6391.
 | Spacedevil13 on More Dating Research |
| Spacedevil13 on New Blog Site Coming Soon |
 | Nicole on New Blog Site |
 | mb on Vita-K |
 | DougieB on More Dating Research |
